don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
