Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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