Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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