I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Randomize
