So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
as a side note pls kill me
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
