My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize