I wannas sexs uuuuu
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
