the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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