If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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