guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
