so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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