Will you blow on my dice?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.