Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Boobs are out for the taking
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
