Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me