My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
