my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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