She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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