I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
These tits shall not be calmed
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
