your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
