I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
