He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I need to calm my uterus...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
