If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
