as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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