he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
