She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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