i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
