we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
