oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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