He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
So. Much. Porn.
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