it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
