Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
