ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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