my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
