Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
