i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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