Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He? As in you personified your dick?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
