He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
