I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
