I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
