we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you win again, gameday.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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