just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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