There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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