just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
