we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
