so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize