So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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