She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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