I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
