Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
