We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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