worst night to have a conscience
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
