oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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