Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
