Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
