I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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