so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
