Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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