Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
i now understand why vodka
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
