bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
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