i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
