To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
These tits shall not be calmed
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
last night I used snow as a chaser
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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