why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
