Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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