Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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